im sorry.....i was stupid....im very sorry....

i wish you never knew...

It hurts to have your feelings hurt...
to like and not be liked...
to cry yourself to sleep...
to be told that you are cared for...
but to be betrayed by curiosity...
for it was curiosity not care...
that drove you to me...
it was good enough for me...
that you liked me in someway...
if not the same as i do...
i was on top of the world everytime you smiled at me...
you are the most perfect person i have ever known...
i admire you...
everything about you...
the way you walk...
the way you talk...
your confidence...
in yourself...
the confidence you say you have in me...
the way you look when your hair's messed up...
the way you look when i say somthing that you expected me to say...
your expression when something you said would happen does happen...
as it usually does...
and when things hurt you...
or if there is something that you dont understand...
it hurts me like thorns within me...
i hate to say good bye...
im looking fr somethin...
somthin i cant find in your eyes...
i dnt know what it is...
i wish i knew...
i love when you say hello...
i wait every moment just to see you...
when i see pictures of you...
im really happy...
when i see it with others...
my heart feels shattered...
i love the way you make me feel better...
and how much it hurts when you never tell me about you...
i love the way you always know what to say...
the way you know everything i ever have to tell you but still listen...
the way you dont change the way you act even though you know...
the way you wake me up in the morning...
i hate how it feels when im angry with you...
and the fact that you dont get that im not actually angry but really really hurt...
i hate the way that i crave for your attention...
but i love the way i feel when you give me the tiniest bit of it...
i feel on top of the world when you do so much as msg me on your own...
can't you see?
ofcourse you can!
you hurt me so bad....
u broke my trust...
i knoe i get angry much too often...
and yes...for the stupidest reasons on the planet...
yes only with you...
but really cant you see????
are you so very blind?
its not you im angry with..its me...that i can never be as perfect as you...
that i feel too small to even stand next to you...
i didnt expect you would make fun of my feelings...
i really didnt...
it hurt so bad to ignore you today...
i really dont expect you to like me...
i would be extremely ashamed to ever do better than you in anything...
coz i want you to be the bestest in the world... :D
i cried myself to sleep last night...
because i realised that it was never care but curiosity that drove you to me...
i just have one fear that makes me do all the silly things that i do...
i regret a bunch of things i say to you...
i lost my trust in many people today...
even so i end up telling you the most stupid stuff in the world...
i tell you i deepest thoughts and feelings...
but the one fear of mine prevents me from telling you this one thing...
but i know it is for the good...
it is this one fear of mine that makes me act as supidly as i do...
that fear is to lose you...
im afraid you wont talk to me ever again...
afraid you'll ignore me, you'll forget me...
thats why im hurt when you dont call or reply to my message..
the reason i was hurt so deeply for such a silly thing...
the reason i wish you never knew what i thought...
what i felt for you...
and i never ever want to ever tell you this ever in my life...
i never want to make you uncomfortable or put you in a tough position...
i never want to ever tell you that you hurt me coz im afraid youll feel bad...
but i never expected you to hurt me the way you did...
i hate my fear but it makes me very insecure...
thats why i never want you to know...
i wish you never knew...

Lord, set her free

her heart was broken, she didnt deserve the pain;
it tore her apart,e'en when it poured she felt no rain;
she looked forward to it from the bottom of her heart ....
he tore her apart
he tore her apart.
it came to her with a crushed blow,
no innocence no vanity told her it could be so;
drove the curs'd metal  through her heart...
he tore her apart
he tore her apart.
her heart lied, it betrayed them both,
didnt give him the sense,
told her it wouldnt be so.
like the sanguine of war,
he watched her fall
he watched her fall.
she could do well without him,
this they both knew,
but her compulsion fed his pride,
it chained her,
made him selfish,
constrained her.
she couldnt give in....not just yet..
others depended on her,
for them she would wait.
but the moment she would be free,
she promised to let that part of her free,
 that which her compulsion and his pride devoured.
i wish that day comes soon, when she can set herself free,
oh lord she has had enough, enough of this tragidy.

life....

hmmm... its been long ....life ryt nw is really complicated...i dunno wat to do...somtyms its great somtyms it sucks to da core!!!!i mean i was really happy today n suddenly went off my mind n gt irritated at evrythin...n i dunno y ...i mean im like reeeeeaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyyy irrtitated ryt now...aaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh i feel like screaming!!!!!i noe hu im irritated wid but im not sure y.....got if they call...im gonna burst...btw..if u havent read "tell me your dreams" by sidney sheldon...u probably shud...its freakily amazing...great buk!!!!!!!!!!

holidays!!!!!

hello...wish u a very happy diwali!!hols r on fr diwali n we got soooo much of tym!!!!!!!wohooo!!!!!!!!i thot of studying n catching up wid all ive missed ...or rather-not studied...but duh!!!hu feels lilke studying wen all ur friends r havin a blast ???dude!!!!!!n now im wasting soooo much tym...it feels awesome..except in da back of ur mind whr u feel u shud b studying...ya but wateva...come on....its diwali tym....i dont want to .....wat da helll...newayz so herer i am wasting sooo much tym...dat is gonna make me relli guilty but den i will study...wid intrest coz ill b too freaked dat i havent studied...
 yesterday.. i spent ecofriendly diwali whr i jus bursted one bomb fr selfsatisfaction but no more ....this is coz usually i burst soo manydat dis was an achievement...also i met very funny n weird ppl...i love studying ppl...its a very interesting thing to do...u learn lots .well....dats all fr now ttyl!!!:)

exam tym...

dude!!! exams r on now coz dey were postponed due to swine flu n stuff!!! sad sad sad....n im not doin well!!!!!!!chem paper was a royal mess n bio was like 10 marks better but wat the hell.....NOT FAIR!!!!!!i study hard tooo....y is evry1 elses papr bettah than mine???really...n ppl hu study less also do far better....i dunno wat to do!!!!!!!!i hate exams....so depressing...n the oncomin thing thts gonna depress me is......wait for it......PHYSICS...coz im sure im dead meat!!!!!i mean ppls...bad paper is equal to my good paper!!....have ppl lost it??or am i alien???seriously....exams should b to test hw much u understood ...not hw much u can vomit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ttyl....at the gates of  DOOM!!!

omg...missing cm...

dudes...the chief minister of AP is missing...i mean..normal people like us happens...but a CM??...weird...conspiracy or accident i wonder....could it be possible for the pilot to be so careless while riding that he did not check if every thing was alright ...or did he bump into some hting ...or was all dis a plot.....i wonder......